2016 - I'm going to be proud!!

Warning this post does contain some ranting but also celebration. Let me explain... this morning I was in the process of writing a post for Facebook after (unusually) being irritated. I soon realised that a.) I need to let how I felt out and b.) it was a negative message and that I in fact needed to focus on the positives - a chance to remind myself what I need to be proud of. 

How it came about?

This post all came about after 2 weeks of solid work, little sleep and some awkward comments. Those who know me well know I'm a giver not a taker and generally not a complainer. I'm a get and go, get on with it kind of person and although I very much care and worry about what people think, I logically came to the conclusion in my teen years that if people didn't like me then they were missing out. Sadly whilst I recognise this from a logical perspective I find it harder to accept and what people say and think about me matters to me an awful lot. 

My rant - so to speak

So, I was irritated and upset by some recent comments from people suggesting because I haven't had a contracted full time teaching job post-surgery, that I must be doing nothing - sat back just waiting for something nice to come along. WRONG!! The reason I was irritated and so upset by these comments is because for the last 5 months I have been working 3, yes 3 jobs. Now it's not like me to feel the need to share/justify/explain this however having come home to hear/read comments along the lines of "Good 1/2 term? O' I forgot you're not working at the moment. So, I suppose it doesn't make much different for you" I have been left feeling disheartened. The reason this disheartened me is that I worked every single day of 1/2 term, early starts and late finishes including 6am starts and one stint that ended at 12:45am the following morning. I am not a lazy person, I want to and enjoy working hard and making a difference - whichever job it is I am doing, I will always give 100%. When I was recovering from surgery, even when I couldn't walk at all and was facing the prospect of learning to walk again, I was desperate to get back to work. 

Support

I do realise that people don't always know what's going on and may genuinely be unaware of what it is I am doing (I don't like to over share or complain about long days – that’s all part of life in my opinion). However, it was the assumption that I would be doing nothing that made the comments disheartening not the fact that people didn't have up to date info. I felt that maybe an update was needed to avoid those awkward foot in the mouth conversations. 

To the people who have been genuinely interested and supportive -THANK YOU! As you all know words of encouragement and kindness are invaluable and just the sort of boost you need after a long, tiring day.

It's not all bad

It was writing this that I was reminded that I deserve to praise myself because I have achieved so much this year - like most people I find this hard but knowthe value of recognising your achievements and am starting to get better at it. Yes I will continue to be annoyed that I don't have the security of a full time permanent contract however I have achieved so much. So I am going to be proud! Here are just a few of the things I'm pretty proud of this year.

• Learning to walk, with just my temporary walking frame (nicknamed Gladys), new shaped feet and perseverance, however daunting the process seemed.
• Stepping up to my role as chair of trustees (with a local charity) to make sure the organisation continues to flourish.
• Initially started part-time work a few hours a week for the first time since surgery.
• Getting back into the classroom 1 day a week to begin with, then 2 days, working up to full time cover for the last 1/2 term of the year. 
• Leading a trip to London.
• Pulling off a school production whilst on supply.
• Supporting a week long residential. 
• Getting my Gold Duke of Edinburgh finally certified and receiving my invitation to the palace.

 And so much more...

Now at the end of this post I have to confess I am feeling better and more confident. I have reminded myself how much I have achieved and to be grateful for. 

I have been able to squeeze in some creative and productive crafting over the last few months however am yet to document them - I hope to bring a more exciting and creative post soon.